(I wrote this last night at like 2 but my comp battery was dead so now I'm typing it in)

So I was having a conversation via text with a friend of mine who will remain nameless because no one else knows him who will read this. it took an interesting turn when he said "I'm waiting for him to ask you the big question" (refering to Julian as the him and marraige as the big question) which led me to explain why that would never happen and if it did that it still wouldn't happen. after a few back and forths he replied "interesting situation you got" and I replied "yup. lifes no fun if its easy. it gets boring going to bed happy every night." which got me to thinking...
honestly that must be how my subconscious thinks. how could it not? what relationship have I had that actually had a chance of surviving? I mean no offense to any of my ex's or whatchamacallems that I never actually dated but seriously... I knew most of them were destined to fail within the first week but for some reason I held out... perhaps to prolong the happy and sad bits just so I wouldn't be bored? or is it like some think and it's because I can't stand hurting people? Or is it my EPIC fear of failure. cuz really thats what breakups are... a failure at happiness with that person. But I guess my past relations would have to take on the persona of "doomed to fail" because if they didn't they wouldn't be in the 'ast' category they would still be happening, right?
oh crap. I'm rambling
and I'm not even doped up on cold medicine tonight. Though I need to be. I've been sick for a week. I blame anyone and everyone that I saw the week of Thanksgiving. One of you/them was carrying this disease and passed it to me like you were passing the gravy. Darn you!!! I'm rambling again aren't I? I can never tell anymore. I tend to think I'm rambling anytime I speak since I do so so rarely.
I'm going to that tea party in Greeley again this weekend. Maybe taht crazy lady from last year will speak again!!! I doubt it though
So I was trying to do math yesterday... OMG FAIL!!! ir was like simple algebra that I shouldn't have even had to think about but I couldn't even figure out how to write down the initial equation until my 3rd try. lol. I need to go back to 6th grade... or maybe that would be too advanced for me... lol. OK so maybe I was having a blonde moment and am now being WAY overdramatic. So sue me. Like I rambled earlier I strive for drama in my life so that I won't be bored.

In other news: work sucks as usual!